Kiana Walking Eagle:
Suicide survivor
Suicide survivor
Photo by: Amy Nissen
By Hannah BakerPine Ridge, S.D. - When Kiana Walking Eagle was 13 years old she went for a walk. It nearly turned out to be her last.
Earlier that day, Kiana was playing basketball at a park in downtown Pine Ridge when she received a text message informing her a close friend had committed suicide. Sadness, guilt and anger enveloped her and she lost all self-control.
“It pushed me off the edge,” she said. “I couldn’t believe it. I could have helped her. I was her friend. I could have done something so she could still be here.”
It was turning out to be a difficult year for Kiana. Just a short time before losing her friend, Kiana’s father was arrested for drug dealing, leaving her to raise her eight younger brothers and sisters all by herself.
“It was really hard without him and I felt so alone,” she said. “I was a daddy’s girl.”
That coupled with the loss of her friend, it was too much for Kiana. She decided to go for a walk behind the powwow grounds to clear her head and calm down. However, neither of these things had happened by the time she stumbled upon a rope lying on the ground.
“I didn’t know how to control myself,” she said. “I was so mad at myself and then I saw a rope and I lost it and then tried to hang myself.”
As she hanged from a nearby tree she came to her senses. She knew she could not leave her brothers and sisters – they needed her. She also knew she wanted to be around to see her father when he was released from jail in 2027.
She saw a branch above her. She tried to reach for it to pull herself back up but once she grabbed hold it broke and she was hanging again.
Her friends were looking for her so she tried to call out, to scream for help, but she could not manage to form the words as her mind raced. Then her cousin came running by and helped her down.
After her brush with death, Kiana, now a sophomore in high school, met a woman named Yvonne ‘Tiny’ DeCory.
Tiny leads a program on the Pine Ridge Reservation called Be Excited About Reading (BEAR). The program began in 2004 to teach younger children the value of reading. However, Tiny decided to tackle the topic of suicide, as it was a growing problem within Pine Ridge.
Tiny said the community suffered a six-year span where suicide, domestic violence and alcohol took the lives of nearly 50 young people.
Because of the mentorship and love she found from Tiny, Kiana said she was able to move forward from her near-death experience.
“Tiny helped me a lot. I don’t know where I’d be without her,” Kiana said. “She’s just a really strong person and she has a lot of positive things to tell you to make you feel special and make you actually want to be here, like you have a purpose.”
Along with the approximate 10 other middle and high school students within BEAR, Kiana performs suicide prevention skits at local schools and other places around the country. Being a part of the group has not only given Kiana the ability to help others, but also herself.
“No matter what, I know [Tiny and the BEAR members] are going to be there and I know I don’t have to be alone or go through anything worse alone, because I know a lot of hard times will be coming.”
Although Kiana finds comfort in BEAR, she still has bad days but she knows she will not turn to suicide as a solution because “it’s not the answer to anything.”
“I can't leave things that aren’t finished here and I can't leave anyone because I don’t want to see them hurt or do the same thing I did if I would have hurt myself,” she said.
Now a sophomore in high school and a star basketball player, Kiana is grateful her cousin found her and was able to save her life just in time.
“I’m pretty sure [without her] I would have been a lost spirit and I would have had a lot of regrets,” she said. “I can help others with the way they hurt because I’ve felt that way. I want to save lives – I really do. [Surviving] made me want to help others.”
